finding-ness

Finding-ness” is not a word. It is the reality I was hit with this morning.

Years ago, me and my best friend went to watch a movie called, “you, me and Dupree”.

In that movie Owen Wilson (Dupree) talks about finding your “ness”. We got the lesson about this “ness” meaning what makes you “you”. Ness was a word for us to talk about for a while. Today he again reminded me of “ness”.

It has been over 8 months I started writing on regular basis. And in past 2 months I couldn’t do it as much or almost any of it. Now, when I am trying to get back to online writing he makes me realize that I am missing my “ness”.

In his email he reminded me in form of a polite complain, that there are no more “speedy sparks” cartoons. He nodded affirming quietly from 12,000 kilometres away when I asked him, “Do you think something is missing?” 

I was missing my “ness”. Perhaps I still am missing my “ness”.

So, shall I take a break and give up writing? No, that would only make things worse.

Now, he has me thinking, what I did before that I am not doing anymore. I used to carry a small writing pad everywhere I go. I will note down a topic in the center of a page. I will start thinking around that thought and keep writing all those thoughts into what looked like small bubbles popping out of the central thought. I remember there were times when within an hour or so I would have 10 pages filled out just with the ideas of what to write about. How will I bring my “ness” back into my writing is my challenge. But, here is yours for today.

Think –

Are you missing your ness?

Where is your ness fading away lately?

Why is it fading away?

What used to make you “YOU”?

If I hit my target right and if I am lucky enough, then I will have this read by people who really need to realize that they are losing their “Ness”. Bring that ness back in game. Think of all the reasons that got you the job that you love. Think of satisfying your customers you used to a year ago. Think of all the reasons why your ness is running away from you. Fight for your “ness”. Your ness builds you the stronger you.

There are some dedicated readers out there who seeks inspiration daily. Then there are some beginner level writers out there like me, who may fall short in trying but do not stop because they realize how inspiring someone can make a whole lot of a difference. And then there are friends like the one I have who inspire the “inspiring writers”. He always did that right. I can tell he has his “Ness”.

Let your Ness rain all over the place. Take your ness with you, wherever you go. Your ness makes you, “you”. Hit the pause button. Look for your ness.

Everyday you wake up to give your best. If you are not ready to give your best, you still would have to drag yourself through the day, earning the bonus of feeling “extra tired”. If acting like a 11-year-old kid makes you “you”, yet helps you seal the deal then be it, without being afraid of being judged or criticized.

Do what you are good at. Do it the way, you are best at.

If you can just be yourself, then you have to be original because there’s no one like you. 
– Marc Newson

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God is Now here

Some believe, “God is nowhere”.

If you shift that W in no where adding a space then it reads, “God is now here”.

Feel the presence of God, and everything will feel smooth and under control.

This blog is inspired from couple of signs I read in this week. I am usually a person, who observes what is going on and try to relate one thing to another and try to read the sign.

It was last week, I took my wife to a “new immigrant evaluation” program. She was to give some English language test there. After the test was over, I had a chance to talk to the examiner. The chat was interesting and I told the examiner how I enjoy writing and catch simple mistakes in English I use, as I keep writing more everyday.

When talking about writing she said, “If you are writing for a good purpose, what you must do before you sit down to write is try talking to God folding your hands, and ask to give you the most pure and inspiring thoughts that will help you and the readers in a positive way.”

I was touched by what she said. To some of you it may sound a bit stupid, but I thought over what she said over and over. It made a lot of sense when I lately tried it a few times. I am not too sure of what I wrote and what I am writing is any good and if my words have the impact I wish I can put into it, but lately every time I sit down to write, I feel more and more confident after I have prayed to God to help me unleash the most inspiring thoughts to generate more good and more positive out there.

Something similar came to my way when I put my mp3 on 2 days back.

I mix different genre of music in my play list. While listening to 2pac n Elton John’s “Ghetto Gospel” soundtrack, I found a line something similar.

“I feel his hand on my brains, when I write rhymes; I go blind and let the Lord do his thang.”

That was part of 2pac’s rap in that track.

Like I mentioned earlier, I read signs. I have a habit of observing and relating one thing to another, trying to get the bigger picture.

Well, that is just me. But if you ever feel down and feel God is nowhere, try convincing yourself to believe, “God is now here” and God will show up. He won’t show up in his direct form, but he will show up in your actions and in your thoughts indirectly making you feel his presence.

Good luck trying that.

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My ebook is coming out soon. I know I bragged about it long and was away for too long. Too bad of an image to create, when you have followers. But now my cooking exams are clear, and back to writing. the ebook is ready to be edited and to go to amazon.

Will see you with more very soon.

Keep reading and spreading the germs of positivity and try inspiring someone; you may just make their day or may be their whole life, you never know. 

 

 

why to worry?

 

Why to worry? – something that my father used to tell me.

He would often find us – kids,  worrying about something that may be happening soon; something that we are afraid that is coming up. In my case, I would be mostly worrying about tests in school or visiting a new place where I would have to deal with strangers or something as simple as having to wake up early next morning.

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
– Albert Einstein.

I used to be the one (using my own example I am trying to relate to many people out there who think or act like I used to) who would be deep down busy worrying about silly things that may happen.

That was the time when he(my father) used to say, “you are not even sure of those scary things happening; worrying about things that may not even happen, you are only allowing the matter to weaken yourself from within. You are worrying without even being sure of things to be worry about.”

This exactly is an issue that will make you lose your today. You are letting your “right now” slip out of your hands by worrying about tomorrow.

Half of the terrible things we worry about do not even happen, or may be more than half of them.

So, do not forget to live this moment. Do not get too busy worrying about what is happening tomorrow.

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I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about. 
– Henry Ford.

 

Kindness – it can start anywhere, anytime and by anyone

Hello again people,

When you are busy enjoying your weekend, please do not forget to be kind; be good – to others. There are many of us you will notice who has more than what they need, while there are others who can merely dream of what is our basic needs. These needs – absolutely so basic that we barely consider it something to be thankful for in our everyday life.

Image

On the left is a picture of Mother Teresa, with a beautiful thought we all should ponder upon.

Another story of an Indian Chef, Narayan Krishnan caught my eye on facebook in the past week. A normal looking human being with an extra ordinary observation skill.

Here is a link you can use to watch the video on Youtube from CNN report.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJZoOGXIXQU

All these people are trying hard to keep this world spinning round nice and smooth. I think its time we all should join them by doing whatever is under our power. Admitting to their beliefs can even help by spreading the word that such unsung heroes out there exist.

These are the heroes who still light the candle of hope in the storm of world that is turning meaner. They are keeping the hope alive, that there is still something good out there.

Because we are so busy, trying to make more money and finding our dream job or buying a new car, it is absolutely acceptable to forget about people who has nothing to hang on to. But it is our duty to help those heroes to keep going, these heroes who are there to dedicate their life spreading goodness around. We can at least be a little inspiration or support to these heroes in order to help the poor ones indirectly.

All this just for sake of “KINDNESS”, kindness that can start anywhere, anytime and by anyone. 

The day I stopped drinking milk – an inspiring story.

Following is a story I am copy pasting from my inbox of Yahoo. The fiction I am writing is something similar to this story line and it was brought to my attention. The picture on the right is of Sudha Murty. She has collected stories and put them together in a book, one of the stories is included here as you will read ahead.
Very inspiring true story. Something that I always insist the readers to do. Help the kids. Once again in the story below it is proved that helping a kid into a right direction will help us build a better world for tomorrow. Not only the future will be healthy and in the hands of responsible citizens but will also help continuing the chain of doing good to the next one found in need.
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Sudha Murty, chairperson, Infosys Foundation and author, is known for her ability to glean interesting stories from the lives of ordinary people and weave these narratives into a unique blend of anecdote and fable.
Her latest collection of stories, ‘The Day I Stopped Drinking Milk’, features a fascinating cast of characters, each of whom made an indelible impression on the author. Extracted here is a nugget from ‘Bombay (Now, Mumbai) to Bangalore (Now, Bengaluru)’, one of the most heartwarming stories in this collection:

It was the beginning of summer. I was boarding Udyan Express at Gulbarga railway station. My destination was Bangalore. As I boarded the train, I saw that the second-class reserved compartment was jam-packed with people. I sat down and was pushed to the corner of the berth. Though it was meant for three people, there were already six of us sitting on it…

The ticket collector came in and started checking people’s tickets and reservations.. Suddenly, he looked in my direction and asked, ‘What about your ticket?’ ‘I have already shown my ticket to you,’ I said.

‘Not you, madam, the girl hiding below your berth. Hey, come out, where is your ticket?’ I realized that someone was sitting below my berth. When the collector yelled at her, the girl came out of hiding.

She was thin, dark, scared and looked like she had been crying profusely. She must have been about thirteen or fourteen years old.She had uncombed hair and was dressed in a torn skirt and blouse. She was trembling and folded both her hands.. The collector started forcibly pulling her out from the compartment. Suddenly, I had a strange feeling. I stood up and called out to the collector. ‘Sir, I will pay for her ticket,’ I said.

Then he looked at me and said, ‘Madam, if you give her ten rupees, she will be much happier with that than with the ticket.’

I did not listen to him. I told the collector to give me a ticket to the last destination, Bangalore, so that the girl could get down wherever she wanted.

Slowly, she started talking. She told me that her name was Chitra. She lived in a village near Bidar. Her father was a coolie and she had lost her mother at birth. Her father had remarried and had two sons with her stepmother. But a few months ago, her father had died. Her stepmother started beating her often and did not give her food. She was tired of that life. She did not have anybody to support her so she left home in search of something better.

By this time, the train had reached Bangalore. I said goodbye to Chitra and got down from the train. My driver came and picked up my bags. I felt someone watching me. When I turned back, Chitra was standing there and looking at me with sad eyes. But there was nothing more that I could do. I had paid her ticket out of compassion but I had never thought that she was going to be my responsibility!…

I told her to get into my car. My driver looked at the girl curiously. I told him to take us to my friend Ram’s place. Ram ran separate shelter homes for boys and girls. We at the Infosys Foundation supported him financially. I thought Chitra could stay there for some time and we could talk about her future after I came back from my tours.

I was not sure if Chitra would even be there. But to my surprise, I saw Chitra looking much happier than before. Ram suggested that Chitra could go to a high school nearby. I immediately agreed and said that I would sponsor her expenses as long as she continued to study. I left the shelter knowing that Chitra had found a home and a new direction in her life.

I got busier and my visits to the shelter reduced to once a year. But I always enquired about Chitra’s well-being over the phone. I knew that she was studying well and that her progress was good.. I offered to sponsor her college studies if she wanted to continue studying. But she said, ‘No, Akka. I have talked to my friends and made up my mind. I would like to do my diploma in computer science so that I can immediately get a job after three years.’ She wanted to become economically independent as soon as possible.. Chitra obtained her diploma with flying colours. She also got a job in a software company as an assistant testing engineer. When she got her first salary, she came to my office with a sari and a box of sweets.

One day, when I was in Delhi, I got a call from Chitra. She was very happy. ‘Akka, my company is sending me to USA! I wanted to meet you and take your blessings but you are not here in Bangalore.’.

Years passed. Occasionally, I received an e-mail from Chitra. She was doing very well in her career. She was posted across several cities in USA and was enjoying life. I silently prayed that she should always be happy wherever she was.

Years later, I was invited to deliver a lecture in San Francisco for Kannada Koota, an organization where families who speak Kannada meet and organize events. The lecture was in a convention hall of a hotel and I decided to stay at the same hotel. After the lecture, I was planning to leave for the airport. When I checked out of the hotel room and went to the reception counter to pay the bill, the receptionist said, ‘Ma’am, you don’t need to pay us anything. The lady over there has already settled your bill. She must know you pretty well.’ I turned around and found Chitra there.

She was standing with a young white man and wore a beautiful sari. She was looking very pretty with short hair. Her dark eyes were beaming with happiness and pride. As soon as she saw me, she gave me a brilliant smile, hugged me and touched my feet. I was overwhelmed with joy and did not know what to say. I was very happy to see the way things had turned out for Chitra. But I came back to my original question. ‘Chitra, why did you pay my hotel bill? That is not right.’ Suddenly sobbing, she hugged me and said, ‘Because you paid for my ticket from Bombay to Bangalore!’

(Excerpted with permission from Penguin Books India from Sudha Murty’s ‘The Day I Stopped Drinking Milk: Life Stories From Here and There’)

Get in a Good company of 5 people.

It was just yesterday I watched the Avengers. I’m sure many of you have seen it already.

Amazing what few good people can get together and do.

Get in a good company of 5 people, why? This is kind of similar theory like the Avengers, but with a different twist. Avengers were put together in order to defeat the impossible for the mankind alone. While this theory is to bring the best within yourself.

For example let’s say you want to turn into a vegetarian but find it impossible. Then you find 5 other vegetarians. Sit down and eat a few meals with them; talk to them; try to fit in. It will help you have ideas how to get over meat cravings or come up with vegetarian recipes. What happens here is, alone you were not being able to stay vegetarian, no matter how hard you tried. But now in order to fit in, you kind of have to lift yourself up a little bit to a certain level in order to be part of the group.

Same goes for workout resolutions or achieving any other sort of goals as a hobby. If you wish to be a daily blogger you should try to get in touch with other 5 daily bloggers. You will often end up reading or figuring out how they end up having ideas to publish something new and when there is a promise to keep you will act for sure.

So, getting in a good company always lifts you higher from good to better and eventually will lead you to be the best before you even notice it. Get it? Well, then start trying it.

Little Adjustment for happiness

Don’t ever try to be a burden on/to someone for your own convenience or pleasure. Rather try adjusting or compromising for a change this time.

Just those 2 lines are enough to lead you to happiness. Very simple thing that is to do. It takes no tools; no guidebooks, no manuals to do. It is exactly how it is written. Think about it, adjusting yourself or letting it go a little can make such a big difference.

If you do not have things just the same way just compromise a little. Nobody can ever have anything just the way it was wanted. Yes, there is a feeling when you say “this is so perfect” after something happened which was mostly not planned or expected; but having exactly how and what you want is almost impossible.

You will have everything you wish for, but not exactly in the same way or in same amount. When I was deeply working on “law of attraction” to win a million dollars lottery, I did not get it. What I did get away was a couple hundred bucks at some competition; a gift voucher from some store and finding 5 or 10 dollar bill here or there on the street couple of times in that very same week when I was deeply wishing for free money.

So, you do get what you wish for but not exactly how you want it or as much as you want it. So, let it go; compromise a bit; adjust yourself to the situation. Be more convenient to others instead of troubling them for your own convenience. That is the greatest way to feel happy after all from within which indirectly is an act of giving. Giving others the effortless time with smiles they will share with you.

Lessons in Movies – Runaway Bride

Runaway BrideJulia Roberts; Richard Gere, you remember that movie right? Good entertainment. There was a part in that movie (many of you have already discussed this over and over with people; in that case I am sorry to bring it up again) that really impressed me. I mean, I was actually flattered how thoughtful of that person who came up with the idea of that “egg theory” or that is what I like to call.

Egg theory - working out a bit too much with Speedy.

Maggie Carpenter (played by Julia Roberts) does not know how she likes her eggs (in above cartoon Speedy knows what he wants but apparently the server is a movie watcher like me who gets a bit too much influenced by the movie). But more important thing to notice, she orders her eggs just the way the guy she is with likes it. If you were the guy Maggie was dating and if you like “sunny side up” that is what she would order. (Spoiler Alert ahead)

Interesting part is at the end when she tries all kind of eggs and comes back to Ike (played by Richard Gere) and says, “I like, Eggs Benedict, I hate all other kinds of eggs”. The moment of realization.

Now, the lesson I see here through my eyes and the way my brains function is that a lot of us; perhaps all of us go through that same phase some time in our life.

We do not know ourselves. We may not spend any time in discovering ourselves at all. May be it is because we get highly influenced or sort of dominated by the other person around. It is all about self discovery. Whether you are at work or in a relationship or hanging out too much with certain someone; it is very obvious that you end up having some influence of that person. That is where we need to hold on to being ourselves. Try that today. Notice people around you and try thinking of the ways they move or talk or do other things and try to remember what really impresses you so much that makes you want to adopt it. There are chances you will realize that you already have adopted those things. Try to figure out is it worth keeping or not. Try more of discovering yourself. Try finding the real you instead of being dragged along with someone.

I have noticed people getting out of a relationship of a few years and feeling little lost to understand what they want and end up with someone who is totally not worth again. That happens because when you were with someone for so long you have changed. Everybody changes. There is nothing wrong in that. Just take your time to figure out again who you are, define yourself again. Do some self discovery about those changes and then move on. Always remember, 2 words “self discovery”- very important alright?

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Earlier I wrote a blog asking to notice people around you and adopt one good thing from them, to be super awesome all together carrying everybody’s 1 good thing in you. That is so not related here. It sounds confusing and mixed up but whole other story, okay.

Have a lovely day, thank you for reading 🙂

 

Being brave or coward?

What is more important really?

Being brave or being a coward?

Being brave you will stand up against problems; like a super hero. A biggest challenge for most super hero we see is having a girlfriend. Why? Because after the evil they face every day, themselves are not even sure if they will be coming back home alive at the end of the day. Being brave can cost life. If not life at least comfort and peace of yours and others around you who are your loved ones.

Being a coward you keep up a low profile. You live with your head down no matter where you come and go. You do not have to worry about standing up against what’s wrong. You barely even have to think what is wrong and right.

Life is full of dilemma. What if spider-man realizes, what MJ goes through every day worrying about him? What if Super-man ends up peeping inside Lois Lane’s head and discovers the terror she goes through every time she has to see him fighting with attacking monsters and surviving around Kryptonite? Is that realization really worth of being brave and saving the world?

This is the thought I recently had. The deeper I tried thinking about it the more confused I felt. Think of taking some big risks for the better of the world or think of doing something you think is right ethically; and now think of the consequences you have to deal with. Now, put yourself in the shoes of your loved ones. see the whole situation through their eyes and ask yourself, “Is it worth putting them through it?” How does it feel to realize how seriously they worry about you when you are doing something that you think is “right” or as an act of bravery?

Now, get back in your shoes and think what is more worth, Being brave or being a coward and “Just deal with it”.

Life is something!  isn’t it?

Put family first

About 1500 school kids in America were asked in 2011, “what is it that makes a happy family?” Out of 1500 kids there was not a single one who said, “Money”. Instead most of them said “Warm Love”.

It was that easy to figure out for an innocent kid. Then why does it take us so long to figure it out?

I have seen people working really hard. They spend day and night after work. Almost like they are not working to live, they are living to work. But when you ask them why so much work you do? Mostly the answer is, “so that I can keep my family happy; I can buy stuff for my wife and kids; send my kids to better University.” or in some cases you hear that, “I want to buy a house or a store or a factory. Then I can keep my family happier. If I do not work hard where I will get the money from?”

Both examples above are real surveys that has been done in 2011.

Now, compare the answers that kids gave and what adults gave. Are kids asking for things or money? All they are asking for is “Warm Love”. Why adults/parents are working hard? So, that they can get more money and give their kids better future.

Now, ask yourself what is more important to you? Building a character of your son or daughter OR Having enough money to be able to send them to Yale; buy them expensive gifts on Christmas. Sure, they would love it. Even at the age of 27 I would also love to have someone giving me a hot-wheels car on Christmas.

The real question is, “what is more important ?” Gathering enough money or being there with the kids to have them feel that you are there. It is very important to spend time with your family.

I had stressed on the example of kids; because once again I have no hesitation repeating that “Kids are the future responsible citizens of this country”. As responsible citizens they will be holding the key to the future. I have mentioned this in 2 or 3 of my blogs before. I will not stop stressing on this same issue that the world is challenged with.

Besides the example of kids the above theory applies to anyone and every one in the family. You have to be sure that every one feels loved the way they deserve to, for whatever role they are playing in your family. Each member is important.

  • If it was not for your father or mother “YOU” will not be here. That “YOU-ness” that you are always so cocky about wouldn’t even exist today, if it was not for your parents. When you were scared as a kid it was them who hold you in their arms and said, “You are safe here with me”.
  • It was the woman you are married to who once said “YES” to you while you were on your knees feeling helpless because if this is not it you are doomed.
  • It was the man of your house that once comforted you in his arms saying, “I am here, I will make sure everything is going to be okay”.

Please value your family. I planned to publish this article especially on Friday so that all of you reading this can realize if you had been lacking in your efforts to put in your family and have the weekend to improvise. Get the family united.

Some monks especially insist on “family time” once or twice a week. Get everyone together; play a board game; do a movie night; have a talk to address everyone facing the problem in the house and find answers together that works for every one’s best.

Put Family First. Starting from now – this very moment!!! Have a lovely weekend.