Higher expectations and lower results.

Disappointment; setbacks, we all have heard enough stories about it. But real fun is when we experience it.

Most or maybe all of us have and will experience that we expected a lot believing in ourselves while we ended up barely meeting any of our expectations, when our work was judged by the “masters”.

How did you feel when you were told, you do not qualify for something really you wanted bad? How did you cope when you realized what you thought you had a lot was barely a handful? How was it to live in a moment watching everything you believed in and dreamed of was just your misunderstanding while reality is totally different? Did you let go what you hold for so long just because you could not do it right? Did you start walking leaving the person behind who believed in you the most?

DISAPPOINTMENT (Spiritual Sticky)

DISAPPOINTMENT (Spiritual Sticky) (Photo credit: spiritualchicken)

So many stories you may have read by now that tells you to fight back. Did they ever make any difference to you, when you really felt disappointed?

Whether you realized or not I know they did help you. They helped you to stay calm for a bit. They helped you to get up again and fight. If I drive this thought a bit towards business I remember a quote I read last night from Henry Ford.

“I do not believe a man can ever leave his business. He ought to think of it by day and dream of it by night.”

That must tell you that even if there was a time you left something behind thinking, you cannot do it right or as good as others, there will be a time when you will get back to do the same. You may not get over your setback in a day or two but may be in next 38 years or so, you will.

You will never take apart what makes you “YOU”.

Remember, no matter what they say but at the end of the day, you only answer yourself. You do what feels good to you, and you do it in a way that suites you the best.

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Responsibilities and Sacrifice

Big words INCOMING….!!! Run for cover.

Yup! That’s us. If I say free samples or foam party, I may attract a crowd full of people trying to stand first in the line. Why sacrifice and responsibilities are big words for us? Why do we accept those words with a feeling of fear? I think that is because we are seldom confused and questioned by our conscience; that sense of figuring out right and wrong; our principles.

Usually wrong decisions are easily made when one has to deal with sacrificing and being responsible at the same time. We have grown up considering that the more responsible we become the more sacrifices we have to make.  That “have to” part we think of is where we go wrong.

Some of us change our behaviour with our co-workers when being promoted, thinking we are better now than the people we were surrounded by; we start reconsidering our relationships with people we work with. We think we are more responsible and we must act more matured now. But my friend open your eyes, and it will be not so hard for you to think of one leader who is goofy and easy going, yet a very good manager (I have used the word “manager” in a way that it sounds like being a good manager is part of being a good “leader”, because that is true. Leaders on top, and then comes managers. Not what we can go deep into in this blog but later) at the same time. 

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Some of us think being married or having kids is going to make us give up things that we always enjoyed doing. This life pleasures of finding love forever or starting a family sometimes sound to us like the major cause of saying goodbye to all our “dreams”. It is not true. It is what we believe and what is absolutely wrong. This is how we usually murder our own inner happiness by assuming things.

Having family responsibilities or increasing workload should not cut you off from what you hold close to you. In my previous article, “Art of trying hard” I talked about something similar. About finding and holding onto the type of art we all are gifted with, trying hard not to give up ever. Starting family or getting promoted are major reasons when and why people change tracks of their life. The way we see it, people get lost once starting a family or being more famous, having no time because they have become workaholic. Well, just for once think, maybe they are not around as much because they have finally found what they were really looking for or been working hard for years. They are just too busy being involved into something they really enjoy now.

But talking about people who literally change themselves to be a person they never wished they were, I must question “Was that sacrifice worth?” Ask yourself is it worth giving up things you enjoyed doing once just because it is “YOU” who think there are more responsibilities on your head, there are more people you need to take care of personally.

If you had find something you were passionate about, why not hold on to it anymore because you are starting a family? If you had faithful friends who also accepted you the way you were, then why give up meeting them just because you have a better job and more responsibilities? 

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My wife wants to be a singer. She is really good at classical Indian music. She had been learning this from a good teacher from past 2 years in India. She is worried once she moves here to Canada with me how her future dreams will get affected.

All I told her was, “hold on to your dream and your passion and we will find a way”.

 Now, when I met more Indians in Canada, I found out here in Canada also there are few evenings like the ones you can find in India, with the events of classical Indian music. Now, she is relaxed too. She is happy if she can’t participate or get into one of those teams as a singer at least she will be happy to enjoy attending those events. And I swear to God, the day I win that lottery I am after or become rich somehow she is getting her own album. She is satisfied knowing what she saw coming as a sacrifice turns out to be more of a “dream come true”.

If you have a passion and if you nurture your passion like your baby, there will be a good price that you will be paid. I believe that dreams come true. Question is, do you? I have already experienced, and I keep experiencing it every day that being a married man I did not give up anything that once I called my passion. While lecturing the world if I must confess, I may have been bit less around my friends while being a full time working cook and trying to be a part time writer too, just so that I can make some difference out there, but I know somewhere that my relations with my friends are of higher values and once when I am taking a break I will be catching my breath with them, while we all stay busy running this race for now.

There are sacrifices made and there are responsibilities taken every day. All we have to do is not make a mistake in our choices and if we do make one, we have to be smart enough to realize not to repeat it from the lessons we learn.